So glad to be home

Phew.  February, already?!  It has been less than two weeks since I returned from two weeks away in Panama.  Time seems to be moving at warp speed as I transition back to regular life and try to catch up.

I have been quite torn about leaving my boys and Jason for such a long time.  I know Jason can handle it, not a doubt in my mind, but I knew it would not be easy.  We do this parenting thing 50/50 from drop offs and pickups to dinner and baths and when one of us is not around, it makes nearly twice the work for the one left at home.  It was a relief (and heart warming) to get such positive reports from him when we would talk.  I am glad he posted the previous post - he deserved to boast a bit!  I could however sense some serious fatigue when we talked on my final day away, but other than that, I think it went well.  I so appreciate that Jason can be such a toughtful and  loving and FUN dad even when stretched to his limit.  He didn't just survive, but planned fun things to do and obviously did some serious bonding sans mom.

My heart ached when I would hear their voices over the phone and one evening when we skyped and I was tickled to be able to see Heath's face as he studdered on about what they had done that day and to hear Alder proudly telling me about the same thing but 10 times more efficiently.  Jason would send me emails with details about what they were doing and saying that I would read as I lay in bed at night and the tears would typically flow as I yearned to feal their little arms around my neck and to snuggle up to Jason in our bed.

Home.  Family.  Love.  Being away from these precious neccesities sure does make you know when you have it and how much it means to you.  I am so lucky.  We had some amazing quality time before I left from which I'd like to share some photos now:

                                                 bongos and hats for christmas

hiking at Ragged Mountain

Enjoying the warm sun after hiking a couple of miles and coming across this dam between two bodies of water.  Heath is sleeping on Jason's back (look beyond Alder's hand) and Alder and I were just sitting quietly.  Alder asks me, "hey mom, what's this?"  I glance over and see that he is breaking apart a piece of goose poop.  I exclaim with a huge smile on my face that it is goose poop! and we start laughing so hard we can barely stand it.  He starts throwing grass on me as a response.  This is kind of funny in retrospect b/c I know where he gets this strange behavior.  Whenever Jason and I are laughing about something silly he has done, we will start poking me or tickling me or tackling me...is this to take the attention away from the silly thing he did?  Funny regardless...

Here the boys are on another hike - on christmas day.  They are acting like hawks with their jackets as wings.  It is very typical these days for the boys to pretend they are hawks or lions.  Lions especially.  they watched the Lion King over the holiday and were very affected.  Alder asked us at dinner last night when we were going on safari....

Ok, so why am I torn at all about traveling.  Why dont I just stay home with this amazing family rather than choose to take 13 students to a foreign country for two weeks?  Because it is an amazing experience and I had a wonderful time and I hope to bring the family as soon as it is possible, both logistically and financially.  Here are a few photos from that adventure:

I am explaining to a student how to extract a bird from a mist net

After a long day in the field, our group is hiking through the mangroves back to our vehicle.

a very close two-toed sloth dangled from a branch and slowly moved to a sleeping position where it sat motionless until we left it.

a celebretory dinner after a day in the field

a straight-billed woodcreeper - one of my favorite Panama resident species

a pygmy kingfisher - another favorite Panama bird.  We captured >300 birds in 6 days of banding. We also captured and banded ~60 Prothonotary Warblers, which is one of the species that I study during the breeding season here in VA that spends the winter in tropical mangroves.

a view from our hike/horseback ride up to a remote cloud forest - Chucanti.

It was exhausting and amazing and fun and challenging.  I am so glad to be home and have warm hugs and laughs with my family each day...and my bed.  I was also glad to see this group of smiling students today and to see their enthusiasm as we discussed how they will analyze the data we collected while there. ....and so I continue to be torn....